Accountability - Part 2

So, after completing Day 15 at the Lord’s Table…the encouragement I received from the automatic email response into my inbox as soon as I submitted my lesson…said this at the end: “It is imperative to keep in close, transparent contact with one or more other Christians…You might want to establish a local accountability partner…We pray that you are able to apply this vital principle of freedom.”

Yesterday, I watched a short bit of The Passion, to get a grip on the pride in my heart. And it starts out with Jesus in the garden…wrestling intensely in prayer…and his disciples sleeping…and the enemy speaking lies…to try to stop Him from doing the will of God. Oh how powerful and even truthful those deceptive voices can be…that say, “it is too hard” and so many other things. Yet even though Jesus suffered so much…and asked for that cup of suffering to be taken away…He said…to the Father…Yet, not My will, but Thy will be done. And who am I to quit after a little bit of suffering…and seeming inability to find another to walk this walk with me…continuously…cause it is Jesus who leads continually…man fails or disappoints…and it is to be only 1, 2, or perhaps even 3, but not all…who will come alongside. And seemingly…it seems…even the 1, 2, or 3…may need to be transferred from time to time. Hmmm…I must not digress.

Yes, accountability is to be found from another walking the walk, even if imperfectly. Yet, can they be found in the body of Christ…not from any Sally, Harry or Terry that wants to give advice? And since I am a woman, it shouldn’t be a man, unless it is my husband…and the only man that was ever my husband…well, this was almost 30 years ago…and it would be unwise indeed to be accountable to him as though he professes one thing, he does another…and well, must be prayed for…but from afar.

Yes, this accountability thing can seem like a tricky thing…that can become a burden it seems…when in fact it is not…since we are not to do or go or need our all from any one person…except the person of Christ…but His body…the church…the members of this church of His should be able to help one another as they serve the Lord…and not that they have to do all…or are responsible in any way…except to do as the Lord says to do…the Spirit inside…and offer a hand, an ear, a word of encouragement and kindness…with gentle admonitions…as I walk out these lessons…and even advice…but not to push me faster than the Lord would have me go…but walk alongside prompting and walking in stride…and perhaps coaxing to try to go a little faster or farther….but not to belittle or shame…but to help one another.

IS it possible with man? NO. Is it possible with God? YES. Is it possible with God’s people? Yes, if they are listening to the Spirit and obeying Him.
SOMETHING happened Monday morning…that has me realizing…how easily distracted…and how well-meaning folks…again and again…think they know something…but really don’t…only causing delay or detouring from my required route…and instead of ignoring…or belittling…or becoming frustrated…just to be cautious until I can check their input…then confirm I’m Ok…by examination…and quickly get back to the way…to what I am certain the Lord has commanded and even provided passage…and then let go of that person’s advice…and just let them go along their merry little way and allow myself not to be entangled. And go along the path I’ve been provided…the way.

So…what started these thoughts…really something rather simple…and it was not only this one thing…but this is the most recent and the most prevalent in my mind…I arrived at the bus company at 6:45 A.M.…since this week two schools are out for spring break. And after walking back to my bus…and completing my pre-trip check…which includes a look at all of the tires…kicking them and ensuring they are not flat…there was plenty of tread and no bald spots on the sides.

So, after finishing the check of the tires and more…I headed out from the base and onto the road. I stopped at a traffic light, as it was red and waited in the left hand turn lane. I was minding my own business and watching the sign…and singing the melody that the Lord had given me…waiting for the light to change to green…when I heard a horn honk…at me? No, I didn’t think so.

So, at first I ignored that horn…as I saw the light was still red…so no one should be rushing me to be moving before the light changed. Then I turned my head to the right…and the lady in the car next to me…was waving her hand…and pointing at my front right tire…and I opened my door…and she said…it looks like you have holes in the tread of your tire…and I said really? She nodded yes…and her light turned green…and she took off. Now my mind went back to my pre-trip inspection…and I wondered how I could’ve missed something like that…it’s not like it was dark…like when I normally start an hour earlier to work…when the other school is in session…and I wondered if I should go back to the base…and have the tire checked…but that would make me late to pick up my students and get them to school?

I decided to see how the bus drove down highway 55…and it seemed fine. I decided not to drive on 94…the faster highway…like I normally do…just in case the tire would blow out…I wouldn’t be on that faster highway. So, I took side streets until I saw a parking lot where I could pull in and stop the bus and check the tires…and see those holes I was advised of? Well…I looked really hard…and I couldn’t see anything wrong…just a little smooth scuff that I caused by coming too close to a curb one too many times…but not any baldness or any hole I could see? So then I thought…perhaps she meant the back tire? And I went to look at that…and nothing wrong that I could see…and honestly…she had pointed at the front tire…not the back…but I checked the left side also…again…just in case…and since I had stopped…might as well re-check them all.

I got back on the bus…a bit perplexed and befuddled…but thought…you know…I’ve been deceived other times in my life…not listening to others advice…so I decided I would take the bus back to the bus company after my route…and have the guys in service take a look…in case I was totally missing something another had seen.

Well…the route was uneventful…in fact quite pleasant and quiet…and after I dropped off the students…and completed my post route check…I headed to the base to have them check that tire.

When I told the service man what the lady had said…and I couldn’t see anything…he looked at the tire…and looked at me…and said would you mind getting back in the bus…and driving it slowly forward…without hitting me…and I smiled and said I would try not to hit him.

Well…this young man confirmed there was nothing wrong with the tire…and he sent me on my way…and as I was driving…back home from my morning route…I kept thinking of how many times…when I am doing just fine…praising the Lord…and under His influence…how someone or something would influence or distract me…with their ways and their cares and concerns and habits and more concerns…and how I’ve been led down some paths too willingly…kind of like a ignorant animal…being led to some dirty water to drink…and is it the fault of those who are just living as they know how to live?

Ah…I can’t avoid them all…He doesn’t want me to do this…I can’t fix any of them…that’s not in my power…ah yes…but I can love God…love them as I have learned to love myself…perhaps check what they are saying…perhaps just check in with the Lord…instead of wasting so much time…and not trusting that I have truly learned enough about tires…to trust my judgment on this one thing…and not be influenced to get off God’s path.

So…stay alert I keep hearing…watchful and not sleeping…as I am being led by the Spirit to clean, pure, refreshing…holy water to drink…and it satisfies my thirst sufficiently and is fulfilling indeed…cause it is Jesus’ water and ways I am drinking.

And I have prayed for a partner in accountability…and I trust the Lord has just the right 1,2, or 3 prepared…since I also prayed for help for this sin of gluttony…and although I’m not flying free in victory yet…I am in training and trust to be flying this plane solo one day…and then perhaps bringing along some passengers to fly to the truth…and I’m not sure why I’m thinking of planes…but it is apropos for what I’m feeling right now…so I’ll leave it in and close this refrain.

Accountability - Part 1

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own." Philippians 3:12

I've been eating at the Lord's Table for 24 days now, in a free online course from Setting Captives Free. I've heard it said by men/women or courses I've taken in the past...that it takes 21 days...or even 30 days to create a new habit. Hmmm. Habits so many...habits so strong...even these?

Honestly, today, I am hopeful and experiencing more freedom from the sin of gluttony I've been in since time began? Did this begin in the womb? or childhood? does it really matter at this point? Today? Nope.

There was a brief time in Hawaii...when I was learning to abide...and receive. I think that time was a time of preparation for me. I have so many pictures in my mind of people I met...through the Lord's providing. There are a special few...that He uses in my heart...to keep me turning to Him...as these ones either saw something in me I didn't know was there...or only beloved and befriended me...even in my oddity. There were so many lessons...and so few distractions...so much beauty...and even when something became difficult in paradise...even when I perceived an ugliness in another...I was able to not be influenced for long or at all...and was able to stay focused and free...more of the time than I had since a child...before using food to comfort me?

I could say so much more...but as much as I write...it could not tell all that's going on in my life. But today as I am on day 24 and not focused on food, but able to follow a simple plan of eating...and turn my growling stomach over to the Lord...and only eat when needed. There is some victory that I wanted to share with some loved ones out there...as the lesson today that I've been reading...well, it asked a question that had me weeping.

The verse being discussed was in Ecclesiastes 4...the part where two working together won't be overpowered and can defend themselves. And the term lone ranger came up...not only in this study...but at church yesterday...and prior to that recently...and ugh...lone...so lone I can be...trying to do this thing on my own...not wanting to be a bother (oh bother) or a burden to any...when in fact the only reason I don't reach out again and again...even after rejection...even after receipt...is alone seems to be so much easier!

Such a lie from the enemy.

Trying to coordinate schedules...good times to call or meet...and not be offended when the other just doesn't 'get' me...or can't make the time for me...or well...I don't 'get' them?

Some truth it may be...but also...Such a lie from the enemy.

Hmmm...so me and Jesus...just the Great I AM and I...can be so much easier than a blank stare, teasing, laughs, rejections, too busy of people...ah yes...even I can use that excuse too many times.

Such a lie from the enemy.

So...hmmm...after that digression...I return to the matter in question...and the study lesson asked me if spiritual protection has been missing from my life? Initially...as I said...I began weeping...but as I thought about it more...I realized that truly I have had spiritual protection at times...perhaps not from the beginning of my life...but certainly at times…there has been some care...protection? and even prayer? if not from all...certainly from some.

The Truth sets me Free.

Jesus is the Way, The Truth, The Life...and whom the Son has set free (including me) is free indeed!

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:23-24