Hindsight is 20-20 or Laser surgery was required to prevent total blindness

I hear a book being written in my head. It takes a lot of effort to quiet the writer. But, once it is quieted by journaling or sometimes suffocation of the thoughts …it many times arrives again as a rewrite…in my head…and sometimes I can begin to type or handwrite and silence the writer once again.

Singing or sleeping are many times the alternatives used…versus writing.

But as I speak to others regarding the lessons I’m learning…they encourage me to share in writing…oh well, ugh...yet, peace has been obtained after many tears and prayers over my naiveté.

1 Corinthians 3:18 ‘Let no man (woman) deceive himself (herself), if any man (woman) among you seem to be wise in this world, let him (her) become a fool, that he (she) may be wise’


This recent lesson began as I was walking in the airport after returning from the west coast on March 1st. A young man, who was running some professional marketing booth, called me babe. Huh? Me? I looked around; I was the only person around. I looked at him and asked, “Are you talking to me?” Yep, he was…he wanted my attention to sell something…he wanted me to hear his spiel in regards to some type of credit card plan…no time to say hello goodbye…I said ‘no, thanks’ and kept walking.

Why didn’t I ignore or just keep moving along later that week? Probably because I mistakenly, naively, thought it was safer to listen to anothers’ spiel and even respond more fully…online. Of course…dumdadumdumdumb!…I was wrong.

1 Corinthians 3:18 ‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

To become too familiar, too quick? Mwa? Too enamored, too easily? Me? I thought that old gal had died…obviously not…where’s the dagger…I must plunge it into my heart. Oh, never mind…this experience will suffice…I expect…as I determine not to let my intrigue be peaked like this again...unless I am thoroughly submitting my mind, heart and emotions under the lordship of Jesus. Key word here is thoroughly.

I thought I had overcome these impulsive desires to believe and even respond to lies. Yet, it seems it was only that I had not been tested…for awhile…and I had a wall of my own…built up.

I need to be open, as I am not clueless, yet I feel a bit gullible.

I’m not responsible to teach a man, am I? When I received an email on facebook from a man saying he was intrigued by my profile, well, first thing I did was change my security settings to prevent a stranger from peering at my profile, but then, I responded to him. Rather cynically, at first, yet, with an openness to hear what would be said in return.

When he responded with a conversational tone and a desire for me to not judge him unfairly before giving him a chance to present himself…well, the trigger word judgment got me…and I continued the written conversation.

Honestly, this was a brief encounter…yet, the thing that surprised me…about myself…was that as I let my walls down almost completely, so quickly.

A little background:
1. Last year, my son asked me if I would ever marry again. The question caught me off guard, and I said I doubt it…and he was quick to remind me not to close myself off to what or whom the Lord might bring…and I was convicted of my lack of trust in man…which with my history is understandable…yet, did I trust God? Yes, but not me.
2. I had been noticing so much negative talk from women in regards to men…and I was grieved. I realized it is not enough to avoid the conversations…I must be open to the Lord’s leading…in not reasoning, but in praying and encouragement to women to be courted, yet, not dated.
3. Then there was the man, Jerry, the wedding crasher, at my sister’s church in Vancouver. He didn’t actually crash the wedding, but came inside while we were preparing for the ceremony. It was wonderful that Brenda’s friend Sharon was there…as she has such a big heart for men in need…and she was there to listen and direct him to another man at church and well…isn’t that the church…open all hours of the day…to be of help to those seeking the way? Help the weak, lonely, poor spirited?
4. John and Brenda’s marriage…if these two beautiful people…why not maybe me? Again, huh? How quick did that jump come, marriage to a stranger? Although it was only in the mind, that the plant wasn’t immediately taken captive to the obedience of Christ Jesus…this is where the seed of deception blooms, indeed.

‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

So, Peter…the so called man’s name…called me babe and used some ownership language…Huh? I decided it would be good to set this stranger straight…write him the truth as I see it. And I responded "Why would words of endearment be used before knowing me? And why is there such a focus on feelings? What about knowledge? What about getting to know if I could be a babe, before jumping ahead?”

I knew this person said he was in the construction business and lived on the east coast. I asked about a New Jersey accent and was informed he was Brazilian. This was enough for me to give the man a reason to be a bit rough around the edges. Poor thing, was lonely, wanting a mate and in a foreign country…it can be so hard to be understood with all those cultural differences and a construction worker at that…all that whistling and gawking and such. He just needed a word of truth I decided and I could be his friend.

Did you hear the violins playing a melancholy song? I did.

‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

Oh the fantasy that so quickly ensueth, when it is perceived that a man pursueth,

Yet, with eyes closed and heart unblocked believing that such a one,

Could be intrigued with such as this,

Perhaps, could be eye opening and heart breaking experience.

‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

So, I played along. I questioned how I was chosen from the millions. I questioned why such an attractive and younger man would have interest in an overweight grandma. His response…he likes thick women. I blush a bit still…that I was pleased to read a man would desire a relationship with me, as is. Yet, I have never been ok with this myself….so…‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

The saddest commentary is the evening I succumbed to chatting online with ‘Peter’ the fake. It took maybe 10 minutes before I realized something was not right. I didn’t have Peter’s full attention online. He said his computer was shutting down on its own…a bad connection. But then, he started using terms of endearment and possession. And when I reminded him that was not ok with me, he became cruel and profane…and saying..lol and hahaha…and I got a sick feeling in my stomach and ended it.

‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’


It took me that evening and the next day to report the abuse, to warn the other 8 women listed as friends on his page, and to secure my computer with a sweep…there was a message, yet a hacking had been prevented.

It took longer than this to examine myself and debrief. How foolish an ole woman can be when she thinks something fantastical and romantically.

1 Corinthians 3:18 ‘Let no man deceive himself, if any man among you seem to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise’

Those that I spoke to about this encounter have been gentler with me than I’ve been with myself. But, honestly…it’s over and I am so thankful that this was only an online encounter versus in the natural. And I am even thankful so that if/when I am out on the streets and I am open to thinking on my own…I pray I will instead…remember to…

Keep these eyes open and fixed on God

Keep the heart tender with His amazing love

And be prepared and able to love each He brings

Without taking my fixed eyes and fixed heart from Jesus!

I am not capable of transforming a womanizer, a deceiver, a hacker, victimizer or thief…but I know the one who is able…the author and finisher of my faith…

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.