Judge Rightly

My 40 day fast from judging ended. I surmise I failed many days…found myself having opinions of too many things/peoples/situations…yet, I remembered some times that I was fasting from this attributing of placing a designation of right or wrong as I see it…and refrained…and instead prayed and interceded for these.

Well, that happened occasionally in these past 40 days. Though more often than previously…and this is where I found relief.

It is as I reminded myself each morning of this fast from judging…I would have peace…and would find myself in situations and just be…be an observer, be a friend, be at peace and speak peace unto them…even if only in my heart and head.

So, this morning I awoke with the words…judge rightly.

Is it that we are not ever to judge? It is true, we are taught that we are to judge not, lest we be judged…but are there times when we must judge? Yep, there are I suspect...actually, yep, this I now am knowing...as in now know, but must learn to practice rightly;)

As it is good to have discernment and to judge a direction to go… or even yes, there are absolute truths to judge our own lives and lifestyles against…or perhaps better yet a judgment and justice towards peace…to be a judge rightly FOR peace!

Proverbs 31:9
Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

“Open thy mouth, judge righteously...Having heard the cause, pronounce a righteous sentence; deliver it freely and impartially, with all readiness and boldness, not caring for the censures of wicked and unjust men; and plead the cause of the poor and needy; who are oppressed by the rich, cannot plead for themselves, nor fee others to plead for them; do thou do it freely and faithfully. Thus as Lemuel's mother cautions him against women and wine, she advises him to do the duties of his office in administering impartial justice to all, and particularly in being the advocate and judge of the indigent and distressed.” From online…Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible.


I have been meeting with a young mom and her infant daughter in their home near where I am staying. I’ve spent 3 days of a few hours each at differing times to observe, encourage, modeling how to nurture and just being there…even helping a bit in household chores to free up the mom’s need to do this versus holding baby.

I will not tell all here, I have told too much perhaps to some others, but I am more and more aware of my responsibility to advocate for the infant, yet not betraying the confidences of the mother.

Dad is working out of state, will only be in town and at home 2 weeks out of every 6 weeks. Mom is inexperienced and has many issues of grief from a tragic loss 5 years ago and also the loss of the way she thought things would be. There is an evident and obvious disconnect to the infant, to the child that is called colicky…yet I have not yet seen any signs of colic...but only an infant who is truly in need of infant care…and a need for one who is willing and able to nurture, cuddle, coo, and love without condition...and have rest, understanding, and support to continue as such.

Through conversations with others and in prayer, I have recalled areas of poverty in so many lives; my own childhood, adulthood, parenthood…and the hoods of my neighbors...even distant neighbors. One most prevalent as I am considering this families position and needs…are the adult orphans of Romania.

Have I written about this much? Not really. Have I spoken about this to all? Not that I recall. It is these that I am reminded to pray for as I care for this infant in need.

Tomorrow I will be meeting with a woman from the adoption agency that placed the infant in the home of this family. I didn’t initially initiate this contact, it was actually the mom that put me on the phone with the agency lady when I called to schedule our next meeting. This scripture encourages me to …Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

Jesus said let the little children come…don’t stop them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are childlike.
Jesus spoke up for these…we are encouraged to copy, yes, follow this teaching.

One who brings peace...

Peace...somewhat
Is complete, when my heart is fixed on God
Peace fleets, whenever I fill my heart with thoughts...
of this or that or anything, but my God.

At this moment in time
I've been able to release all else,
my heart is at rest listening to hear
the voice of the one who brings peace,
better still.

Unforsaken by Jesus

I am a loner
Solitary—solitaire
By choice so often
Yet chasing another
If only in my mind
That one is certain to not be
There each and every time

I truly desire
I truly need
A friend’s shoulder to cry on
A tower on which to lean

In another sense
I have the best friend
The tower of strength
The shoulder so steady
To which I can lean on and cry
With even a tissue provided
To dry my tear filled eyes
To blow my nose
A hug so strong
Hold on—hold on

Hindsight is 20-20 or Laser surgery was required to prevent total blindness

I hear a book being written in my head. It takes a lot of effort to quiet the writer. But, once it is quieted by journaling or sometimes suffocation of the thoughts …it many times arrives again as a rewrite…in my head…and sometimes I can begin to type or handwrite and silence the writer once again.

Singing or sleeping are many times the alternatives used…versus writing.

But as I speak to others regarding the lessons I’m learning…they encourage me to share in writing…oh well, ugh...yet, peace has been obtained after many tears and prayers over my naiveté.

1 Corinthians 3:18 ‘Let no man (woman) deceive himself (herself), if any man (woman) among you seem to be wise in this world, let him (her) become a fool, that he (she) may be wise’


This recent lesson began as I was walking in the airport after returning from the west coast on March 1st. A young man, who was running some professional marketing booth, called me babe. Huh? Me? I looked around; I was the only person around. I looked at him and asked, “Are you talking to me?” Yep, he was…he wanted my attention to sell something…he wanted me to hear his spiel in regards to some type of credit card plan…no time to say hello goodbye…I said ‘no, thanks’ and kept walking.

Why didn’t I ignore or just keep moving along later that week? Probably because I mistakenly, naively, thought it was safer to listen to anothers’ spiel and even respond more fully…online. Of course…dumdadumdumdumb!…I was wrong.

1 Corinthians 3:18 ‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

To become too familiar, too quick? Mwa? Too enamored, too easily? Me? I thought that old gal had died…obviously not…where’s the dagger…I must plunge it into my heart. Oh, never mind…this experience will suffice…I expect…as I determine not to let my intrigue be peaked like this again...unless I am thoroughly submitting my mind, heart and emotions under the lordship of Jesus. Key word here is thoroughly.

I thought I had overcome these impulsive desires to believe and even respond to lies. Yet, it seems it was only that I had not been tested…for awhile…and I had a wall of my own…built up.

I need to be open, as I am not clueless, yet I feel a bit gullible.

I’m not responsible to teach a man, am I? When I received an email on facebook from a man saying he was intrigued by my profile, well, first thing I did was change my security settings to prevent a stranger from peering at my profile, but then, I responded to him. Rather cynically, at first, yet, with an openness to hear what would be said in return.

When he responded with a conversational tone and a desire for me to not judge him unfairly before giving him a chance to present himself…well, the trigger word judgment got me…and I continued the written conversation.

Honestly, this was a brief encounter…yet, the thing that surprised me…about myself…was that as I let my walls down almost completely, so quickly.

A little background:
1. Last year, my son asked me if I would ever marry again. The question caught me off guard, and I said I doubt it…and he was quick to remind me not to close myself off to what or whom the Lord might bring…and I was convicted of my lack of trust in man…which with my history is understandable…yet, did I trust God? Yes, but not me.
2. I had been noticing so much negative talk from women in regards to men…and I was grieved. I realized it is not enough to avoid the conversations…I must be open to the Lord’s leading…in not reasoning, but in praying and encouragement to women to be courted, yet, not dated.
3. Then there was the man, Jerry, the wedding crasher, at my sister’s church in Vancouver. He didn’t actually crash the wedding, but came inside while we were preparing for the ceremony. It was wonderful that Brenda’s friend Sharon was there…as she has such a big heart for men in need…and she was there to listen and direct him to another man at church and well…isn’t that the church…open all hours of the day…to be of help to those seeking the way? Help the weak, lonely, poor spirited?
4. John and Brenda’s marriage…if these two beautiful people…why not maybe me? Again, huh? How quick did that jump come, marriage to a stranger? Although it was only in the mind, that the plant wasn’t immediately taken captive to the obedience of Christ Jesus…this is where the seed of deception blooms, indeed.

‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

So, Peter…the so called man’s name…called me babe and used some ownership language…Huh? I decided it would be good to set this stranger straight…write him the truth as I see it. And I responded "Why would words of endearment be used before knowing me? And why is there such a focus on feelings? What about knowledge? What about getting to know if I could be a babe, before jumping ahead?”

I knew this person said he was in the construction business and lived on the east coast. I asked about a New Jersey accent and was informed he was Brazilian. This was enough for me to give the man a reason to be a bit rough around the edges. Poor thing, was lonely, wanting a mate and in a foreign country…it can be so hard to be understood with all those cultural differences and a construction worker at that…all that whistling and gawking and such. He just needed a word of truth I decided and I could be his friend.

Did you hear the violins playing a melancholy song? I did.

‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

Oh the fantasy that so quickly ensueth, when it is perceived that a man pursueth,

Yet, with eyes closed and heart unblocked believing that such a one,

Could be intrigued with such as this,

Perhaps, could be eye opening and heart breaking experience.

‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

So, I played along. I questioned how I was chosen from the millions. I questioned why such an attractive and younger man would have interest in an overweight grandma. His response…he likes thick women. I blush a bit still…that I was pleased to read a man would desire a relationship with me, as is. Yet, I have never been ok with this myself….so…‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’

The saddest commentary is the evening I succumbed to chatting online with ‘Peter’ the fake. It took maybe 10 minutes before I realized something was not right. I didn’t have Peter’s full attention online. He said his computer was shutting down on its own…a bad connection. But then, he started using terms of endearment and possession. And when I reminded him that was not ok with me, he became cruel and profane…and saying..lol and hahaha…and I got a sick feeling in my stomach and ended it.

‘Let no woman deceive herself, if any woman among you seem to be wise in this world, let her become a fool, that she may be wise’


It took me that evening and the next day to report the abuse, to warn the other 8 women listed as friends on his page, and to secure my computer with a sweep…there was a message, yet a hacking had been prevented.

It took longer than this to examine myself and debrief. How foolish an ole woman can be when she thinks something fantastical and romantically.

1 Corinthians 3:18 ‘Let no man deceive himself, if any man among you seem to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise’

Those that I spoke to about this encounter have been gentler with me than I’ve been with myself. But, honestly…it’s over and I am so thankful that this was only an online encounter versus in the natural. And I am even thankful so that if/when I am out on the streets and I am open to thinking on my own…I pray I will instead…remember to…

Keep these eyes open and fixed on God

Keep the heart tender with His amazing love

And be prepared and able to love each He brings

Without taking my fixed eyes and fixed heart from Jesus!

I am not capable of transforming a womanizer, a deceiver, a hacker, victimizer or thief…but I know the one who is able…the author and finisher of my faith…

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Appearances

We look to see
we hope to be
we cannot know
inside truly

We take a chance
and bump our heart
and always turn
back to the start

Those things that look
so good about
may be deceiving
and cause us doubt

To trust again
to take a chance
no longer now
do I depend
on the appearance of a who or what
to be truly who or what is seen.

And yet, my faith, my hope, my joy, my peace is found
in depending on the belief in The One in whom and what
can truly be trusted and depended on
My Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus.

Every Hour He Meets Our Needs

There was a girl who loved the Lord-
but she grew tired from toil and work-
she read the Book
she said her prayers
she walked outside
amongst smiles and stares...

Not only smiles, but also sneers-
she became weak-
but recalled a word-
a word in a day that brought her peace-
a word, a song is what she sings
every hour I need Thee...

The girl worked hours that suit her well-
she had a nap between her routes-
she'd dreamt of this and even prayed for this-
so many years ago

Don't focus on the dirt...but on the SEED!

Wow, the dirt sure is dirty!
And when I cry, it sure gets muddy!

So, it's not only personal, yet family
And then community...those plots of dirt are many!

The book I'd been reading is Rachel's Tears...
the next paragraph I read after the last I shared says:

'When we focus our eyes on self, we're looking at the dirt.
When we focus on the seed growing in the dirt, we produce fruit'

Dirty I've been, dirty I'll be...there's too much dirt on and even in me some days...that I can't see past my plot to see clearly to the next...so I'm keeping my eyes on the seed in me...which is Jesus.

So, the next thing I read in this biography of a girl:
'It is so important to understand that the Christian walk is not me becoming perfect; it's Christ growing to perfection in me.'

Is that an excuse to stay muddy? Is that a cop out for dealing with conflict in relationships with others? Lord have mercy on me...and show me what to do...and my heart says to continually seek Him...and His way of doing things...and then I will know how to love not only myself, but all others.

Dirt is not cleaned before the seed is sown...

Farmville...I really didn't see the sense in playing an online game. Yet, I succumbed to my sister's invitation. And became rather obsessive even...and also opened up a cafe. So, now that I have played for a couple weeks and I must return to work on Monday and I truly don't see how I can farm, run a cafe and drive a bus? Hmmm, time will tell;)


But the thing I wanted to share that I don't know if I would have seen if I hadn't played these games...as I was reading a book about a young woman, Rachel, that had been killed in the Columbine shootings...this book her parents wrote tell of her love of Jesus and her struggles with faith...and a discussion regarding sod and seed she'd had with her dad.


Dirt is not cleaned before the seed is sown...we are the dirt...God, Jesus, God's Word...which is Jesus...is the seed. And not only that...the soil is made richer with manure...hello? didn't I learn this lesson two years ago? I guess I needed to hear & learn it again!