Accountability - Part 1

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own." Philippians 3:12

I've been eating at the Lord's Table for 24 days now, in a free online course from Setting Captives Free. I've heard it said by men/women or courses I've taken in the past...that it takes 21 days...or even 30 days to create a new habit. Hmmm. Habits so many...habits so strong...even these?

Honestly, today, I am hopeful and experiencing more freedom from the sin of gluttony I've been in since time began? Did this begin in the womb? or childhood? does it really matter at this point? Today? Nope.

There was a brief time in Hawaii...when I was learning to abide...and receive. I think that time was a time of preparation for me. I have so many pictures in my mind of people I met...through the Lord's providing. There are a special few...that He uses in my heart...to keep me turning to Him...as these ones either saw something in me I didn't know was there...or only beloved and befriended me...even in my oddity. There were so many lessons...and so few distractions...so much beauty...and even when something became difficult in paradise...even when I perceived an ugliness in another...I was able to not be influenced for long or at all...and was able to stay focused and free...more of the time than I had since a child...before using food to comfort me?

I could say so much more...but as much as I write...it could not tell all that's going on in my life. But today as I am on day 24 and not focused on food, but able to follow a simple plan of eating...and turn my growling stomach over to the Lord...and only eat when needed. There is some victory that I wanted to share with some loved ones out there...as the lesson today that I've been reading...well, it asked a question that had me weeping.

The verse being discussed was in Ecclesiastes 4...the part where two working together won't be overpowered and can defend themselves. And the term lone ranger came up...not only in this study...but at church yesterday...and prior to that recently...and ugh...lone...so lone I can be...trying to do this thing on my own...not wanting to be a bother (oh bother) or a burden to any...when in fact the only reason I don't reach out again and again...even after rejection...even after receipt...is alone seems to be so much easier!

Such a lie from the enemy.

Trying to coordinate schedules...good times to call or meet...and not be offended when the other just doesn't 'get' me...or can't make the time for me...or well...I don't 'get' them?

Some truth it may be...but also...Such a lie from the enemy.

Hmmm...so me and Jesus...just the Great I AM and I...can be so much easier than a blank stare, teasing, laughs, rejections, too busy of people...ah yes...even I can use that excuse too many times.

Such a lie from the enemy.

So...hmmm...after that digression...I return to the matter in question...and the study lesson asked me if spiritual protection has been missing from my life? Initially...as I said...I began weeping...but as I thought about it more...I realized that truly I have had spiritual protection at times...perhaps not from the beginning of my life...but certainly at times…there has been some care...protection? and even prayer? if not from all...certainly from some.

The Truth sets me Free.

Jesus is the Way, The Truth, The Life...and whom the Son has set free (including me) is free indeed!

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:23-24